Reply to How do you stay married to an ASD HFA Aspergers husband?

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[quote=Anonymous]If you see a counselor, it has to be someone well-versed and experienced in neurodiverse/neurotypical covers. There are videos on youtube from Grace Myhill that I found helpful.

Agree with other posters you have to be very direct in what you want and when they are in a calm state.

Typically, the neurotypical spouse has to manage a lot in the household because once they unmask at home they cannot handle more after work. If you have the finances, outsource what you can. Make sure to take time for your own self-care, therapy, and time with close friends at least once a month. Carve out your own life separate from your spouse and kids.

To be honest, it sounds bad but having low expectations helps that way you're not continually disappointed. They often simply cannot due to their ASD/co-existing issues provide emotionally what a spouse needs. You either learn to live and accept it or move on.

You may not be able to do much with your spouse, but energies should be focused on your child to get all the help they need to be as much of a functional adult as possible. You can break ties and split from a spouse but obviously with your kid that's much harder.[/quote]

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