Reply to What is the least effective parenting style?

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[quote=Anonymous]I don’t know which is best— I think it depends on the parent and the child. I’m sure many posters would find my style too permissive, but my kid is polite, conscientious, and hard working. I think she needed a more permissive parenting style because she’s very headstrong, and more rules simply created conflict. I know other kids who needed a firmer hand because they wanted more guidance, and would be frustrated by a lack of rules.

But I think the key to good parenting is the right combination of consistency and flexibility. You want life to be fairly predictable for your kids, so they know if they do X, then Y generally happens. This is what makes them feel safe and allows them to develop. But too much rigidity is bad too. You have to be able, as the adult, to say, “this is not working for our family, we are going to make this change together,” and not be too proud to say “I was wrong” or “I need to improve in this way.”

It’s just all about balance and making measured choices. I think emotional reactivity (which leads to extremes and impulsivity) is the enemy. This was the thing I worked on most when I first became a mom and I think it’s what most helped me navigate challenging parenting issues.[/quote]

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