Reply to Problems with my four year old. I need a super nanny.

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, please read Beyond Time Out by Beth Grosshans. This book was seriously a game-changer for us and totally opened our eyes to how we were enabling and contributing to our 3 yo's out of control behavior. You don't need a few tips or tricks here and there, or another reward chart -- you need to understand how the dynamic in your family is contributing to these power struggles and how to repair these dynamics in a systemic , consistent way. Others have also recommended 123 Magic - I haven't read it, but I have a good friend who says it really helped them. Bottom line, good parenting doesn't just happen by itself! Take the time to read, understand what your kid is really looking for and asking for in these situations, and learn how to respond consistently and appropriately. Yelling doesn't work, as I'm sure you've noticed, and makes everyone feel terrible. Time outs can work but you have to know how to do them correctly - the book i mentioned really helps with that as well.

I also can't stress enough how important it is to get this figured out sooner rather than later. One of my best friends had a dynamic like this with one of her kids and the boy is now 7 and he still has tantrums like a 3 year old because they never addressed his behavior beyond yelling and some reward charts which never worked. It actually has impacted how much we hang out because I find it so exhausting to be around her son and I can't even imagine what it must be like in her house 24/7. Don't go down that road -- address it now![/quote]

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