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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My grandparent with dementia lived with my family when I was a teenager. Yes, it was difficult sometimes, but my siblings and I learned good things from the experience.

We learned about taking care of the elderly, we learned that a person is still loved and worthy of our care even when their personality seems to have gone from their body. We learned that our parents were willing to make sacrifices to take care of their parents: a lesson that we learned well and thought back on many years later while we were taking care of our parent with dementia.

We also learned that life is not always perfect and that people are not always perfect, but we continue to care for and love people even when it is very, very difficult. Because that is what good people do. And my parents gave us an unforgettable example of what it means to be and how to be a good person. I am very thankful today for that experience of my grandparent living and eventually dying within the care of my family. 
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If your loved ones never experienced sundowning/insomnia, dementia-related aggression, exit-seeking/elopement, self-injurious behaviors like biting themself, inappropriate sexual behavior, coprophagia, and all the other potentially harmful and dangerous behaviors that can result from dementia, well, lucky you. But don't judge the rest of us who are trying to deal with it and to keep our innocent children safe from it.

Some people with dementia require 24/7 supervision and cannot safely live in a household with children, period. That's the unpleasant truth. So stop patting yourself on the back for being such a good person. You're just lucky that these things didn't come up for you.[/quote]

We did deal with some of these things, with four children in the house. I was the oldest, a high school student at the time. I totally get that not everyone can handle this kind of care, I was just pointing out the good things I learned from it.

It certainly was not easy and my parents, particularly my mother, made huge sacrifices to care for my grandparent. Someone had to be there every moment, and even then, there was wandering and inappropriate behavior. And this was long before as much was known about dementias as is known now.  But it was not all bad. And I hugely admire my parents for what they did, even though it was very difficult for all of us as a family at that time. 
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Your mother was not a good person, if she forced her children to endure the things the pp described.      Parents are supposed to protect their children, "that is what good people do."[/quote]

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