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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]my daughter is in recovery and has complied with our boundaries and is now sober,

Your mother or brother in law didn't decide to become an alcoholic, it's a disease and your ignorance on the subject shows how little you are willing to learn about anything outside your little bubble.

Would you leave them if they had asthma?  ADHD?  Cancer?

I would proudly be friends with your brother in law.  I would much rather stand with someone who has battled this disease and remained sober for 15 years than someone like you who has no idea what you are talking about and is so judgmental.  [/quote]
I mean, I absolutely think OP ITA, but I think this is harsh.  Being on the receiving end of addiction as a child is rough, and it sounds like OP has a lot of unresolved issues.  S/he does have some firsthand knowledge of the damage that addiction can do.  Where she's wrong is in rejecting her BIL despite the fact that he sought help and has been sober for 15 years, and judging her sister for making a different decision.  If BIL was not in treatment, or was relapsing, and his behavior was causing problems, I think OP would be 100 percent in the right to distance herself from him.  But he is, he's not, and it's not. OP shouldn't be projecting her mother's behavior onto BIL.  [/quote]

It's what she needs to hear, not what she wants to hear.  To judge someone she doesn't know base don her own experience isn't fair to the brother in law or her sister.  There are many people who are wonderful parents, brothers, sisters etc. that are in recovery and to think all of them are like her mother is a slap in the face to them.  [/quote]

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