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[quote=Anonymous]OP, there are a few things going on in your situation and I just want to highlight some things for you to flag and discuss with your attorney. This is not legal advice.

First, the default is 50/50 in custody arrangements and the primary concern a judge will have in altering it from this is the "best interests of the child", which can be a very subjective metric but it's important to frame any argument in that way. The PP who said the judge will look at fairness to you and your ex is not quite right. That might contribute to a subconscious bias towards fairness as the judge see it, but the actual legal justification will have to be "this is what is best for the kids." So frame any argument for a particular arrangement as "this serves the kids needs best" or "the 50/50 arrangement will not meet the kid's needs because x,y, and z."

This also give you the benefit of framing arguments so you have the higher ground. If one parent is saying they want a certain arrangement because it's more convenient tot them, and the other is saying that they want something because it benefits the kids, the judge will be more inclined to listen to the person arguing for the kid's interest.

Regarding childcare arrangements, be careful here. When you say your X "plans" to rely on you for childcare during their custody days, what is this based on? If it's just comments during arguments, the judge will not find that persuasive to alter a 50/50 agreement. You need concrete evidence that your X does not have any way of arranging childcare during their custody days. Even lack of income isn't enough because what about family, friends, subsidized childcare at the school, etc.? Your X is a parent and the judge will say "it's your job to provide childcare for your kids when you have custody." As long as your X will say in court "yes, I will do that" the judge is unlikely to change a 50/50 agreement for this.

Now, if you've been in the 50/50 arrangement for a while and your X consistently contacts you or brings the kids to you on their days for care, document all of that and bring it to the judge. The judge is more likely to change an agreement if there is an established pattern of one party violating the existing agreement, which is what that would be. But it needs to be a consistent pattern, it can't be a few one offs.

Also, speak to your attorney about what is considered evidence and what isn't. Often people have an idea that they have lots of evidence and don't understand that much of it has no bearing on the case. In very personal disputes, people will often have evidence in the form of things people said in conversations, rude emails, etc. Most of that will have zero impact on a judge and trying to use it to persuade the judge will just annoy them because it takes up time in court. There are only a handful of factors a judge will look at in making decisions, and everything else is irrelevant, including many things that might feel very relevant to your out-of-court relationship with the other party.

Stick to "best interests of the children" and be as practical as possible. I know it's hard, but try to separate your emotions about your X out of it. Focus on your kids. That is what the judge will find most compelling because it goes directly to the legal standard the judge is supposed to use in making these decisions.[/quote]

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