Reply to Young adult kids dealing with mentally ill mom

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[quote=Anonymous]My MIL is like this - she and my FIL divorced when my husband and I were 22. It’s really great that you care so much about helping your kids navigate this - my FIL has not, and it’s made it much harder on my husband and his sibling.

I think the only thing that can help is therapy for your kids, plus they need to talk to their mom less.  My husband talks to his mom probably once every 2-3 months, with some light texting in between.  We do limited, short visits and try to avoid after dinner evenings when she’s at her drunkest. My husband now has a great therapist that has helped him figure out how to stand up to his mom a little more with healthy boundaries (he never said no to her or would create elaborate lies because she explodes). It also just takes time. This year he was brave enough to tell her that we are spending Christmas Eve with my FIL.  Because she’s so possessive of holidays and hates that her children still have a good relationship with my FIL, he hasn’t seen his dad on a major holiday since the divorce over 10 years ago.   [/quote]

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