Reply to Bad Bad Bad Bad Mommy Moment

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am just shocked that a 3 year old is doing all of this. You really have to discipline your child. Your built up frustration is from not being able to properly discipline. A 3 year old should be fully capable of not biting, punching and kicking mommy. He knows he can get away with it from you, so he does it. If I can beat someone and get away with it, you bet I would do it. [/quote]

I appreciate your feedback, I really do. I just want you to know that my kids are lovely are are disciplined. In case you didn't read my first post, I did say that our pediatrician said this is very normal behavior for a 34 month old, especially for a 34 month old who is the youngest of three children. I've discussed the behavior with a profession, and my child isn't doing anything that other kids his age do, he's just doing it more.

I'm sorry I said he "beat" me. We're not talking about a teenager attacking me, it's a 35 pound preschooler. What set me off today was the fact my back was turned and I was ignoring the behavior as not to feed it with negative attention. Again, his little fist hit me just at the base of my spine and it hurt. I view it more of a 3rd child trying really hard to get attention in a very negative way. But please be assured, my older two never behaved this way, and my almost 3 year old is a very sweet child and does not do this in any other situation or at school.

Now, do you have any advice as to how to stop feeling so bad? Nothing you said really helped at all, could you try again?[/quote]

Continue putting the child in time out until the child sits their for 3 minutes. If the child runs away, go after the child and place them back in time out. Yes you may have to do this a lot but after a few time out sessions your child will get it and understand that when he acts up, he will have to sit and do nothing.
I am sorry, I am not going to pat you on your back and tell you that you did a great job. You lost it, we get it. Your child will be just fine, however, look at the bigger picture, which is that you really need better ways to handle your frustration and discipline. Hitting and then saying sorry afterwards, does not work with kids, so why should it work with you, as an adult? Sorry if I did not make you feel better, but you can not expect 100 percent positive reactions to your post.[/quote]

I don't want a pat on the back as I've had one too many of those today. I'd like useful advice. Again, I appreciate your [i]feedback[/i] and your [i]opinion[/i], but I'm lost at what advice you are giving. I'm aware of what happened and why it happened. Any advice to keep it from happening again (his hitting, not mine). This has happened once, not on many occasions, so while I understand the point about "frustration" you're attempting to make, I don't see that as a pattern with *me*.

I am fed up with the hitting, however I am asking for advice on STOPPING THE BEHAVIOR, so again, what advice do you have?[/quote]

Put the child in time out every time the child hits. Use a firm voice and look directly into your child's eye, that his hitting is not ok, and that it hurts you.[/quote]

[b]Some children really wont sit in time out. If a child will not sit in time out then do you sit on top of them? Hold them there? Make time out a screaming battle? What methods do you suggest for the child that will not sit in time out, just curious?[/quote][/quote][/b]

OP, when he hits you you immediately tell him no and tell him he is going to time out. Then you take him to wherever time out is, like a corner of the room, a specific chair, a mat, whatever. You don't argue, you don't explain, you don't get into a verbal battle. You have laid down the law and that is, no hitting mommy. If he gets up you get him and firmly place him back on his mat, let's say. He will kick, scream, yell. You don't engage and leave him there. You continue to repeat this as long as it's necessary. It could take 10-15 minutes or several hours. You need to break him. He doesn't get to leave until he has stayed in time out by himself for at least a few minutes and is not trying to run away. Ever watch the show where the Nanny comes and helps parents with their out of control children? Watch a couple of those episodes. He needs to learn there are immediate consequences to his actions. He needs to learn you don't play and you mean business. [/quote]

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