Reply to Please don't ask for "gifts of time"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To preface this, I have asked to stop exchanging Christmas gifts among adults and no one agreed.

This year the older adults on both sides (parents and inlaws and one aunt) all said that the only thing they want for Christmas is a specific way of spending time with us.  One asked for monthly video calls, one asked for dinners out together, one asked to vacation together.  This sucks.  First of all there is nothing to unwrap, when they are getting my family many things to unwrap, so that doesn't work.  Second, these are people I already call weekly or see at least monthly, so it's kind of insulting for them to ask for this time as a gift, as if we ignore them.  And third -- if we wanted to do these things we'd be doing them: the kids don't do well on video calls, we are not dining indoors yet, etc.  It feels manipulative.

I am an adult with a good income to buy what I want for my family, but I still put together a small list of physical gifts when relatives ask what my family would like.  Sometimes this means postponing a purchase it would be more convenient to make myself, but I do it so they can give a wrapped gift like they want to.  I wish they'd be mature enough to do the same -- OR stop exchanging gifts.  [/quote]

Wow how selfish they want to spend time with you!  What were they thinking?[/quote]

Asking working parents of small kids for extra time (on top of tons of time and efforts already made) is as rude and tone-deaf as asking poor people for money or extravagant gifts. [/quote]

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