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[quote=Anonymous]NP, and my takeaway from my own experience and all the comments you've already gotten is this:

1. It's really about what happens in competition. To make sure your kid gets IN the game during competition, of course they have to be good or great in practice. But the things that get the coaches' attention most of all is notable performance in competition.

2. I've never seen what you said about poor behavior or most-in-need of development getting most coach attention.  In beginning I think coaches are looking to see who needs what, but as the season goes on, again, it's about performance in competition. Most coaches I know don't have TIME to focus on the late/bad behavior players UNLESS they're also superstar athletes in their sport.

3. Individual coaching is probably a great idea. Also if you have any choices, next season have your DD try out for other teams and if any team is super interested & makes an offer, name this specific dynamic and ask what they'd do differently to make sure she keeps developing.

4. And to whoever is competing against the family member of someone running the team, my DS faced that too and it was one of the reasons we made SURE to change club teams the next time it was time to try out. He was offered a spot to return to the other team and when I declined I specified that part of why he wasn't returning was because one of the team captains was one of the worst players last season, didn't model great playing nor any leadership, and we needed to show DS that other teams DO promote based on skill and leadership.  I said it much more diplomatically than that but I wanted the head coach to understand, that nepotism stuff for play time and leadership positions will come back and bite you when that family member doesn't also kick everyone else's butts in skill.  Maybe for the team your child was playing on, an anonymous post somewhere that people in that sport read would be a good idea?[/quote]

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