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[quote=Anonymous]Two minor notes to the above

1) If these same friends were not there for YOU during your divorce, then their expectation of support might be making you bristle because you did not get support from them, and that is a totally legitimate reason to be turned off by them.
  
I did get support but it was paired with some jealousy and extra criticism and I'm finding that after a divorce I don't have enough tolerance for this. I'm feeling guilty though because I did get some support as well. I might not be explaining it well, but what's happened is that if they have a negative feeling they don't like about themselves in a conversation and then see a person who they view in a weaker position, they then dump their feelings on me with some criticism of me or veiled jealousy so they don't have to feel bad.

2) If a friend complains about the same problem over and over and over for a really prolonged period of time without ever doing anything to change their situation that can be very frustrating and can make the relationship pretty toxic. I slowly drifted away from a friend who had a borderline obsessed attitude about a minor disagreement she'd had years before and just could not let it go and would just dwell on it. For years. This kind of person's issues are not yours to shoulder if you don't want to.

I already know all of their issues so this doesn't bother me except that I only have so much sympathy for these issues by now and obviously have greater struggles. They are welcome to complain and I can show some sympathy and validation but I don't feel the need anymore to keep commiserating and don't like to get involved in these discussions as much because of their proclivity to turn on me to escape their feelings.[/quote]

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