Reply to Does anyone here have absolutely no relationship with their inlaws?

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[quote=Anonymous]
OP, here's the thing.  You are the new member of the family.  There are more of them (than you, obviously) and it is completely on them to make you feel welcome - not ostracized!  DH and I gave our ILs (one in particular) things we should not have, quite generously.  I'll leave it at that.  It did nothing but backfire.  "If you give some people an inch...."

Anyway, some ILs are indeed insular, at best.  In DH's case unfortunately, it turns out they were abusive growing up.  DH succeeded in spite of them, thankfully (but no thanks to them).  They will always be hostile, bitter and introverted, among other things.  I grew up quite differently, so it has been a big change for me, which is fine.  If DH wants to see them, that is fine.  But they have never gone out of their way for us.  They are usually too busy (MIL especially) for our children, which is just an example.  MIL would rather play golf, I suppose.  Let's just say I am a huge believer in Karma :)

Build your own family and surround yourself with positive, OP.  If they are too self involved and SELFISH to be happy for you, they simply are not worth it.  In time, your children will be old enough to know the truth for themselves, without any help from you.

For example, our children always ask why grammy goes to (late teen grandchildren's) game, but not theirs.  Hurtful indeed!

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