Reply to Once again am hurt over dysfunctional family and holidays

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If it is so important, then I would travel to the ILs. Otherwise, contentment lies in releasing your attachment to a desire that things be different from what they are. Your parents are unlikely to stop being codependent and that sibling is not going to be less of a mess--that's the dynamic they are in. The ILs are never going to be not-flaky. Meet them where they are (at their place!) or accept that you won't be close.

It's just fine to be sad that things aren't your ideal scenario--be sad about it for a while, but then embrace what you DO have. Either an intimate family holiday or a travel to the ILs holiday. [/quote]

+1 In your shoes, I would plan a trip to visit the ILs for Christmas. We have a standing rotation of Christmas with each side (and we ALWAYS travel to see them). Check dates and then book your tickets/plan your drive.

Also +1 on making Thanksgiving a Friendsgiving - it's too short to really travel so unless family is local, getting together with others is the way to go. Plus Thanksgiving potlucks are the best!

Lastly, I hear you that it's about more than the actual holidays and also about the family dynamics. You wish both sides made your family a higher priority. They do love you - they just aren't able to show it in the way you want right now. [/quote]

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