Reply to How involved are your parents and in laws in your child(ren)’s life?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My kids see my parents weekly. Often a full weekend day and an overnight. The kids ask to go hand at their house. In-laws are also local, kids see them weekly when they meet the school bus and hang with then until we get home. But they are older so harder for them to spend time with little kids without us there. But they come to all bdays, school and sports events. [/quote]

Op here. Love that they come to all sports events/activities. My in laws do, but my parents don’t and that’s what causes the hurt feelings with my daughter. And it’s not like they have a super active social life so I know they are literally just sitting at home. It’s so frustrating.[/quote]

I wonder if there is something more.  Perhaps the driving or parking at the fields or courts is a problem?  Or maybe some anxiety?  Are you sending a message and hoping they show up?

Have you tried arranging to pick them up?  That's what we do with our respective parents.  If I take the game kid to the field or gym, then my husband will swing by and pick up whichever set of parents is coming to watch the game, or vice versa.  Your parents may have a reason that they're not going even though they want to.

My husband's parents finally confided that they had been worried about parking in the parking lot for the soccer field our kids teams used - it is a madhouse with kids darting all around and parents not watching out, and they were scared to death that they were going to hit a kid.  And my parents were confounded by all the different schools that the rec league basketball team played at, that no game was at the same school all the time, so it was really hard to figure out where to go even with Waze (which they have trouble programming).

Anyway, now we get both sets of parents at practically every game or event as long as one of us does the kid to event routine and the other does the picking up the grandparents routine.  It is definitely worth it.

DP[/quote]

Op here. Nope, not the issue for my parents. My ILs actually do have anxiety about things like parking and new places. They just show up super early and park far away. My parents on the other hand, travel extensively both domestically and internationally so it’s hard for me to picture them being intimidated by a busy sports parking lot less than 10 minutes from their house.

I do appreciate your response because I could totally see this with my ILs but they are the ones that show up almost every time.

My mom lost her mind at me during a recent sports season thinking we hadn’t sent them the schedule (I had sent it to them even though they hadn’t bothered to come the previous two seasons) and they finally came to a game, but it felt like it was to save face for being so dramatic. I sent them the schedule again per the usual this season and zero acknowledgment that they received it. The season is over and my DD was heartbroken they couldn’t bother to come once in 10 weeks.[/quote]

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