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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Greatly appreciate some of the perspectives here. I also think I've found a new nickname, the Saucy Minx!

One thing with my mother is that her whole life she's always looked to others to make her happy. And we all fall short.  Her bar for being happy is impossibly high.  She always says "of only your brother got married, I'll be happy". He got married and it didn't help.  Then it was "if only I had grandkids I'll be happy". She has four grandkids and it didn't help.  Then she says she'll be happy if only she lived near her adult daughter, me.  I move her down here, sell her house and arrange everything, but it didn't make her any happier. It's not like she even has friends up there since she's a hermit.  She is also reclusive and agoraphobic and has mobility issues. Doing outdoor activities is out of the question. So we sit on the sofa drinking tea, while she stews about her incredibly disappointing life.  I asked her once to find anything in life that has been positive and she literally couldn't find anything.  That is incredibly sad.  She loves playing the victim too, it is her entire identity.  Her life hasn't been easy always but she has always had security, a roof over her head,  food, shelter, family, successful children, a spouse (who perhaps wasn't the best always but tried in their own way).

It's so depressing.  When my father died it was very sad but he had a full good life, minus dealing with my difficult mother.  My mother, when it is her time, is bitter and a so called tragic figure, who regrets everything.  I think I'll be more sad when she does BC she didn't find any kind of joy, silver lining or fulfillment in her life.  Everyone, even the best people have disappointed her and she still doesn't have the perspective to recognize her patterns and her impossible expectations of a perfect life.  [/quote]

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