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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So you feel no obligation to a family member who has no one and is lonely over the holidays? How lovely. And what a lovely way to model to your children being a kind, empathetic person. Then again, we could always use another ruthlessly self interested person -- on the roads, in the grocery store, at work -- so we look forward to your DC growing up and joining society. The board approves.[/quote]

NP. No, I don’t feel obligated to people who are [b]likely[/b] lonely because they are steamrollers who can’t take “no” for an answer, always have to have their way, only consider their own needs, and thus don’t have many people who want to hang out with them.

I have an uncle that no one invites to family functions anymore. That’s the natural consequence of him saying racist remarks and using racial slurs in other people’s homes, after being directly told not to and asked to leave. Natural consequences. [/quote]

I'm sorry about your uncle.

But where are you getting ANY of this from what OP wrote.  True, SIL perceives an open invitation to be at OPs house whenever she wants.  But that perception is based on YEARS of it being acceptable and normal to everyone involved.

Other than that, there is nothing to indicate she is any of those things that you describe.

OP can absolutely change the dynamic in that relationship if it no longer works for her or her DH.  Certainly.  But no reason to cast the sister as some terrible person deserving to be shunned.[/quote]

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