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[quote=Anonymous]As the formerly  single auntie - I sympathize with SIL. But if you want to make other plans and do other things as a nuclear family that’s reasonable. She can plan to visit the parents instead.

If you’re going on a trip or elsewhere for the holidays just give her plenty of notice. However, if you are staying in town, it does seem a little cruel to not invite SIL for some portion of the holiday. As a formerly single auntie - it was really wonderful to be invited to Xmas eve and morning with the kids to watch their excitement opening gifts from Santa and to be a part of the family for Thanksgiving dinner. If she’s staying too long for those holidays you should make it clear to her - the invite is just for one night (or not overnight) if due to your work schedules you’re not up for guests for extended periods of time.

It’s one thing to want to be a part of the family celebration, but that has its limits…

So, be as inclusive as you are comfortable with - especially thanksgiving dinner and Xmas day. But otherwise set your boundaries.
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