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[quote=Anonymous]OP, as someone else mentioned, your father is unlikely to qualify for assisted living. Most require that residents be ambulatory. If he is not at home with aides, he will need a nursing home.

HOWEVER: not all nursing homes are like warehouses for the elderly! My mom was at Goodwin House (they have two branches in Northern VA). She had her own comfortable room with private bath, built-in desk and bookshelves, closet space, etc. It was kind of like a very high-end dorm room. And the nursing care residents can participate in the same activities as the people in independent and assisted living (concerts, art classes, eating in the restaurant, all that). There are a lot of horrible nursing homes, but there are good ones too, so I would not assume this can't be an option. And everything the PPs have said about more social interactions is 100% true.

My mom had a wonderful aide (this was before she went to Goodwin House) who lived in five days a week and went home on weekends. She was amazing and everyone loved her. That said, we got very lucky finding her, and because we wanted to keep her, and my mom was not the easiest person to deal with, we paid her more than double what the typical aide makes. (We could do this b/c my mom had an amazing Long Term Care insurance plan-- the kind they don't sell anymore, more than $400/day, no lifetime max).

The downside of aides as opposed to nursing home: if aide is sick or hits traffic or whatever, it's all on you. In addition to the wonderful weekly live-in aide, we worked with an agency to provide weekend aides and aides to cover the main aides days off. (My mother needed a high level of care). But even with that, there were frequent crises where my husband or I ended up basically dropping everything to go change diapers, etc. I wish we had been able to persuade her to consider nursing care or assisted living sooner....[/quote]

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