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[quote=Anonymous]He doesn't necessarily have to participate, but there's a difference between non-participation and obstruction. He doesn't have to go to shul with you, but will he take turns dropping the kids off at Hebrew school (if you send them) or refuse to have anything to do with it? Will he be upset if you light Shabbat or Hanukkah candles? Observe Passover, even if just a seder and not the whole holiday? Don't go to work on High Holidays? Make disparaging comments? If he can be neutral, it can work. But it is so hard to know that ahead of time.

I think a lot depends on what observance looks like to you and how you envision it for your kids. Work that out first and then figure out what it would like if he were neutral. Maybe you just want light acknowledgement of holidays - that wouldn't be so hard. Maybe there are particular values you see as Jewish that he also values without thinking of them as Jewish, so you can talk about how to impart them to your kids. Maybe there are values he has that you would also agree to impart, without labeling them Catholic or Christian. Also, figure out your stance on Christmas, Christmas trees, Easter, and egg roll/Easter bunny, because almost certainly he will want those and not see them as religious. (And maybe you won't either and it will be easy, who knows.)[/quote]

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