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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This post could have been written by me about 15 years ago, except I was raised in a Reform household.  My husband was raised in a strongly atheist home (his mother was cultually Jewish and his father was a fallen Catholic) and he was really taught to disdain religion.  Early in our dating, I let him know that raising a Jewish family was extremely important to me and really non-negotiable.  Our development into a Jewish family happened slowly and his participation really varies.  One of the most important things for us was finding a synagogue that was the right place for us.  In our family that meant a Reform, super liberal, down to earth community and one that welcomes interfaith and diverse couples.  Although my husband is technically Jewish since his mother is Jewish, he doesn't necessarily feel jewish, so we needed a place that not only accepted mixed families, but recongized their value and truly welcomes diversity.  We started with the occasional tot shabbat when my kids were little which he would sometimes join us for and sometimes not.  We eventually joined the synagogue when my older child was ready to start religioius school.  Over the years, he has come to truly value the community. He will occasionally attend services, particuarly if my kids are participating (choir or whatever) but often opts out.  But he comes to social events, hangs out with our synagogue friends, and really enjoys the people and the value added of the home it is for our kids.  I learned early on not to put pressure on him, but to allow him to decide what his participation would look like on his own terms.  We also celebrate the major holidays with my family (and invite his family when they are in town).  Some of his extended family is obviously not Jewish, so we sometimes spend Christmas with them and the kids understand clearly that we are sharing in their traditions.  It has worked out remarkably well for us[/quote]

Sounds like DH learned from you, what the really important parts of religion are -- traditions and community.  It sounds like in your synagogue, you don't have to pretend to believe any weird stuff to have those important elements.[/quote]

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