Reply to Girls with Asperger's and the boys who like them

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Look posters, the only reason to post on this board is to get advice ...It REALLY bothers me when OPs are attacked for being "dramatic or negative" It is obvious to me that OP loves her daughter and wants the best for her and is seeking advice from people who may have been in her shoes.

I so want this to be a positive board...a supportive board...but somehow much of it seems to be so negative.

We as mothers just want help..not to be attacked...UGH![/quote]

You are right, OP does not deserve to be attacked.

But sometimes the best help we can give is asking, is this really a problem?  Is this really a situation we want to look at in the worst possible light for all involved?

I see many posts on this board creating near-hysteria about what are most likely not problem situations.  A six month old baby is staring at a fan.  A little boy flaps his hands once in a while.  A child is a month or two behind other children in walking.

Should we all get hysterical with the mothers involved?  Get into a doomsday scenario of lifelong problems, victimhood, and shame?  Does that do anyone any favors?  [/quote]

You know full well thats not the point.  if you want to be supportive when someone raising a concern that you think is invalid, you don't need to "get hysterical."  Keep in mind OP has a child with a diagnosis of AS.  She's not someone coming on and asking if staring at a fan means her child is autistic.  She is one of us, she is the mother of a child with a disability.  I have a child with the same disability and I want to be able to ask questions without someone accusing me of raising the victim flag.  When my DS says he doesn't like the other kids at his Sunday school, am I overreacting if I wonder if they are ostracizing him?  Maybe.  But maybe no, maybe this is a red flag that there's something going on that should be addressed.  I don't know.  I would hope I could raise such issues without people (who probably don't have kids with AS) accusing me of doomsday scenarios, victimhood and shame.  I feel no shame.  But my DS is negotiating an atypical life and that means assumptions that work for other kids may not work for him.

I responded earlier that OP should ride this out so clearly I agree that sometimes all that is required is reassurance that it doesn't sound like a problem.  We all need to hear that every once in a while, but without accusations and insults.  Because when you are in a situation the solution may not be obvious.
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