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[quote=Anonymous]We're in the same age range but I'm childless. I identify as black and Jewish. Like you, I'm dark brown. I grew up in northern NJ. I was sent to both Hebrew school and CCD and got to choose my religion. Both of my parents are biracial, but my mother's mother is Jewish. My mother is technically Jewish but started to reject it around the time I was born.

My mother no longer identifies as Jewish because of repeated overt and subtle discrimination aka Ashkenormativity. She's more tan than brown with almost straight hair. She looks just black enough that most people realize she's not white but don't always realize the otherness is black. It's very sad and it truly embarrasses me when other jews find out my mother now practices a christian religion even though she was born Jewish and is culturally Jewish. But the truth is that it should not embarrass me, it should embarrass the greater Jewish community that she adopted a completely new religion because of how other Jews treat her because of her skin color. When I've told her I just don't understand how she can go to church, she tells me she doesn't believe any of it, that it's just nice to go somewhere she feels welcomed and like she belongs. It doesn't even have anything to do with skin color because she belongs to a.... wait for it... all white (except for her) Catholic Church that is down the road from the home she retired in.

I get so sad when I see all the interfaith events around black history month with black Christians. Meanwhile many of the same people who engage or tout them don't acknowledge or do the work to address the racism that sickens Jewish America that makes white jews act unaccepting and racist (overt and otherwise) towards JOC, but esp towards black jews. To all the other jews on this thread, please go out of your way to learn about antiracism and put it into practice every time you see a POC in the jewish community.

I will say that I have found the Jewish community in this area much more racist (overt and subtle) than NJ/NY. It is much harder to find a place that feels like home. I've personally have had very good experiences with Adas Israel in DC but am not a member and don't go regularly. If I ever have a child, that's where I will probably go.

Most of my bad experiences in the area have been at reform synagogues. I do think that Ashkenazi people who mostly identity as cultural jews tend to exhibit significantly more subtle racism towards their fellow jews who are black since they don't think about the religious part as much. I have double last name. One of those is a name that is sometimes Jewish, sometimes not, but most people realize that it's one that can fit the mould. I cannot even pretend to know how many times during my lifetime that someone who is jewish while at a jewish event will explain to me that there are Jewish people with my last name and ask me if I knew I had a Jewish last name. This is usually after I say that I'm Jewish (because let's face it, if you're black and the person doesn't know you, you have to say it, being there is not enough.)

When I was a teenager I got one of those Tiffany Elsa Perretti Star of David sliver necklaces for my birthday one year. Pretty much all the Jewish girls in my area had them. I finally had to stop wearing it because I got tired of random Jewish people coming up to me asking if I knew I was "wearing a jewish star" and then started explaining to me that it was a religious symbol. The only time someone had something not racist to say about the necklace was in Summit, NJ. I was wearing it at the train station and sat down next to someone who was modern orthodox. He looked at my neck and said with happy surprise "You're Jewish! Tell me how that is for you, to be black and Jewish." It was one of the best conversations I ever had about religon.

All I can say is we are out here but were probably not in your synagogue. It's sad. I feel for you so much. I've met so many mixed black people who are jewish in some way and none of us go to shul because it hurts to be treated like an outsider in your own community. Lots of luck to you. If you find somewhere great you should come back and post it so other folks looking will know.[/quote]

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