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[quote=Anonymous]Like many people with older parents, I was frustrated that my mom did not make more of an effort to go out or get engaged in activities as she aged. After my father died, she sort of holed up on our house while I pressured her to take up a hobby or go out to lunch with other women. My intentions were good, but I am sure I came across as if I was disappointed in how she was managing with her new phase of life.

I called a Helpline once, related to older people, to seek advice. I commented to the social worker, "She is acting like she is 95 years old." And the social worker said, "Maybe she feels like she is 95 years old."

That struck me because I realized that it was her perception that mattered, not the objective facts on the ground. I had never been old or widowed. I had no right to judge how she was coping with a challenge that I had not had to face.

It is something I keep in mind now when I see older people. And I certainly realize that aging is not easy as I go through it myself.[/quote]

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