Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was 23 in a mall in S. Florida, and a young boy approached me, dragging an even younger boy with him. He asked me if I could buy them something to eat. I was so shocked that a child asked, that I handled it terribly and said no. That was 22 years ago.

But did you change because of this? That's the question.

Why do people keep GRADING first the question, now the responses. This is not an assignment.

DP, but it’s not grading to ask how the conversation changed someone’s life, since that was the question. It feels like people keep leaving that part out. It sounds like people are answering the question - tell us about a random conversation you had that you remember.

Anonymous wrote:I met a woman waiting for a train. I was with my daughter (who is adopted from another ethnicity, so it is sort of obvious). The woman gently asked if she was adopted. I said yes. She asked if she had been an orphan/lived in an orphanage before I got her. I said yes. She asked how old she was when she got adopted. I said 1. Then I asked how old she was when she got adopted. She said she was never adopted.

The silence hung in the air. I asked, "Well do you have a husband or children of your own now (she looked to be in her 30's)". She said "No."

I was not sure how to respond. The thought of going all through life with literally no family was just very hard for me to imagine.

How did this change your life?

Anonymous wrote:I was 23 in a mall in S. Florida, and a young boy approached me, dragging an even younger boy with him. He asked me if I could buy them something to eat. I was so shocked that a child asked, that I handled it terribly and said no. That was 22 years ago.

How did it change your life?

Anonymous wrote:"only beautiful people are successful.". So that prompted me to get a ton of plastic surgery and become beautiful.

Wow, you must have been pretty vulnerable / insecure, to go under the knife because a stranger convinced you that you could not succeed as you were.

I majored in chemical engineering. I thought I would go to law school and be a patent lawyer. I was on a plane to Boston to visit my college boyfriend at his co-op job over spring break and I was studying. The man who sat next to me recognized the textbook and talked to me. He was a chemical engineer undergrad and currently working as a patent lawyer. He was in his late 30s and the one sentence I remember to this day was “the money almost makes it worth it, some days.” I did not go to law school. I did sell my soul for money and work a bajillion hours and fly every week to my consulting clients for a decade, but once I was ready to settle down I was able to step back into a career with better work-life balance.

My friend’s husband runs ultra marathons and trail races like the Western States 100. I asked him why he runs these crazy races and he said “no matter what each day brings, I know I am capable of doing hard things.” I will never run an ultra and probably won’t even run a marathon, but I laced up my running shoes for the first time in over 10 years in 2020 and I have run 3-4 days a week ever since. I love running and it’s my happy place. In the darkest early days of the pandemic it was the one thing that kept my sanity.

I talk to strangers every day and have for 25 years because of my work. Nothing they have said has changed my life. In fact, I think they have kept a few secrets fro better life from me not to come across as better or know better.

Like many people with older parents, I was frustrated that my mom did not make more of an effort to go out or get engaged in activities as she aged. After my father died, she sort of holed up on our house while I pressured her to take up a hobby or go out to lunch with other women. My intentions were good, but I am sure I came across as if I was disappointed in how she was managing with her new phase of life.

I called a Helpline once, related to older people, to seek advice. I commented to the social worker, "She is acting like she is 95 years old." And the social worker said, "Maybe she feels like she is 95 years old."

That struck me because I realized that it was her perception that mattered, not the objective facts on the ground. I had never been old or widowed. I had no right to judge how she was coping with a challenge that I had not had to face.

It is something I keep in mind now when I see older people. And I certainly realize that aging is not easy as I go through it myself.

I met a woman waiting for a train. I was with my daughter (who is adopted from another ethnicity, so it is sort of obvious). The woman gently asked if she was adopted. I said yes. She asked if she had been an orphan/lived in an orphanage before I got her. I said yes. She asked how old she was when she got adopted. I said 1. Then I asked how old she was when she got adopted. She said she was never adopted.

The silence hung in the air. I asked, "Well do you have a husband or children of your own now (she looked to be in her 30's)". She said "No."

I was not sure how to respond. The thought of going all through life with literally no family was just very hard for me to imagine.

Anonymous wrote:I was once standing on the street and a man said to me, "smile, baby" and I decided at that moment that I was going to be happy and not let anything get me down. It was transformational.

There was this modern-day hippie guy who was always around campus when I was in college. I didn’t know him, but I always saw him. I was having an awful day, sitting at a red light about to leave campus. I look to my left and there he is, smiling wide as could be, holding a homemade sign that says “Smile” in big letters.

I never forgot that guy and his sign and remember him any time I’m feeling precious and sorry for myself. He always brings a smile to my face.

Anonymous wrote:I was at a dinner party at university and had one of those short, intense conversations that sometimes come up. Lasted less than half an hour, in the dark corner of a rented restaurant/bar.

It was a bunch of philosophers and humanities types. I was talking to an older woman professor about medical ethics. I talked about my grief over letting down my mother as she was dying -- sepsis from a UTI, breast cancer treatment, and I as I medical student didn't pick up on it fast enough.

This still haunted me. She pointed out that if my mother was septic enough to go that fast (died that night), nobody likely could have saved her, and that my mother probably wanted to spend the time with me, not as an object treated by me, anyway.

Damn. About three total sentences, and then the conversation moved on. But I let go of grief that had haunted me for years.

That's lovely. Thank you for sharing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was 23 in a mall in S. Florida, and a young boy approached me, dragging an even younger boy with him. He asked me if I could buy them something to eat. I was so shocked that a child asked, that I handled it terribly and said no. That was 22 years ago.

But did you change because of this? That's the question.

Why do people keep GRADING first the question, now the responses. This is not an assignment.

I was once standing on the street and a man said to me, "smile, baby" and I decided at that moment that I was going to be happy and not let anything get me down. It was transformational.

I was at a dinner party at university and had one of those short, intense conversations that sometimes come up. Lasted less than half an hour, in the dark corner of a rented restaurant/bar.

It was a bunch of philosophers and humanities types. I was talking to an older woman professor about medical ethics. I talked about my grief over letting down my mother as she was dying -- sepsis from a UTI, breast cancer treatment, and I as I medical student didn't pick up on it fast enough.

This still haunted me. She pointed out that if my mother was septic enough to go that fast (died that night), nobody likely could have saved her, and that my mother probably wanted to spend the time with me, not as an object treated by me, anyway.

Damn. About three total sentences, and then the conversation moved on. But I let go of grief that had haunted me for years.

I was at a 2nd grade soccer practice.

I said, “it’s weird he can’t read, I mean at all.. he can’t tell the difference between of, from and for”

Stranger (no longer a stranger)… “sorry to eaves drop but he’s probably dyslexic, my brother is, so is my oldest son.” Gave me a contact and basic guidance and…

My son just graduated from a top 50 college and is in graduate school.

My younger son is dyslexic too, his college story not do great/not horrible either… TBD

It’s was long, arduous, slug! But I literally don’t think I would have figured it out with out “the stranger”.

Anonymous wrote:"only beautiful people are successful.". So that prompted me to get a ton of plastic surgery and become beautiful.

hahaha... did it work?