Reply to DH Can’t Stand Having Two Kids… 2 Years Later

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "DH Can’t Stand Having Two Kids… 2 Years Later"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Have a third, then he’ll long for the days of two. 
Just kidding.
Most of the solution is time; it gets better.
The rest of the solution lies with your husband, does he see that his attitude is making things more difficult and what can he do to adjust the attitude.
Kid-free time is helpful. With two young kids we usually split the weekend so each person got a good 4-5 hours to do with as they pleased. [/quote]

This.  Give him 4-5 hours on his own say Saturday morning while you take the kids to the park and out to a cheap kid friendly lunch.  Hopefully [b]he can do the same another day[/b].  Maybe that will cheer him up.  And if not, maybe he might want to talk to a therapist (they’re getting cheaper with the internet ones which many insurance companies do cover.)[/quote]
omg.. this will never happen.

her DH isn't mature enough to deal with his own two kids, so now OP has to cater to a 3rd kid -- her DH.

I'm sorry OP.  We found two hard, too, and I know DH didn't actually want #2 event though he was happy to try for it.  I think he was hopeful that it wouldn't happen; not sure why he thought that. I got very easily pregnant with #1.

Things were rough for a couple of years. We had a blow out where I think he realized that I might walk.  I knew that he still loved me and didn't want to break up the marriage.  It only got marginally better, but we just soldiered on.  Every so often I would see that he still wasn't happy with #2, and I think DC picked up on it and made a comment to me about their dad not loving them much.  It broke my heart.  I told DH what DC said. DH got very quiet.  Didn't say much.  But I started to the notice DH making overtures to DC.   They are now much closer.

Part of it is DCs are older now, so they are easier to manage.  Part of it is DH having to come to terms with his feelings, and accepting that this is  his family.

Being a parent is hard.  We all think we know what kind of parent we will be and how everything will be great, but reality is very different.

Have a chat with your DH about how your kids will pick up on his feelings. Kids are pretty intuitive.  Does he want his kids to feel that their dad doesn't like them? That's the chat I had with my DH.

He had a hand in creating this child. Being a parent is more than just providing food, clothing and a roof over their head.  Your kids aren't going anywhere, so what kind of father does he want to be?  Is he ok damaging his relationship with his kid?  I know for me, if their relationship hadn't gotten better, it would've damaged my relationship with him, too, because I would have lost respect for him.

GL[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics