Reply to Boss told me that he rarely sees me interacting with my coworkers

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I know that most of you mean well. But my boss didn’t ‘gossip’ about me to my coworkers. I think my senior supervisor picked up on my anxiety early on and then mentioned it to my boss. Also, my coworkers have probably sensed that as well. The meeting with my boss didn’t sound judgmental, it was to ask about why I’m not being part of a team.

So for example, I don’t eat in lunch area, eat on my desk. They don’t see me grabbing lunch with other coworkers, laughing, joking, etc during lunchtime. When I was in my interview I remember him saying that their team is incredibly close and they’re like a big family. So it does make sense when my boss, supervisor or coworkers see my lack of social interaction in the workplace. He told me that we have no idea on who you are and what you’re like because we don’t see you interacting with others or being part of a team. He said he wants to see me from now on interacting with others for like an hour a day with my coworkers and work with them instead of being by myself.

The thing is I can’t get myself to do it. It’s too much for me at the moment. I just want to be left alone and do my own thing. I know it’s not ideal but at least I’m not causing problems and getting my work done. I understand that my boss’s request is reasonable and I should be more hands on and engage with others, but I can’t do it at this point in time. I might get the courage to do it after a few months, but at the same time I am afraid I’ll get fired? Can my refusal to be part of a team cause me to get fired? If my boss sees me next week still alone and not being with other coworkers what do I do or tell him?[/quote]

Refusal would be insubordination. Do what you can. One hour seems like a big expectation but you should be able to do something more than you’ve been doing. You may want to use language such as “accommodation” because while you are not seeking a reasonable accommodation, it does seem like you could use a bit of help.

Do your best to play along to the extent you can. If you cannot do one hour, as your boss requests, let them know what you can do and that you need to build up to it. Keep an eye on your co-workers, maybe you can find one that you mesh with and make a friend. That may make it easier to join the group.

Good luck - I think you can do this based on how well you speak and your clear intelligence. I know it is emotionally difficult but you seem like someone who can do hard things, like get this job. You can do the challenges to keep it.  Do whatever you have to, bribe yourself with rewards. You’ll figure it out.[/quote]

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