Reply to Hetero couple proclaiming themselves as queer

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s “in-group” vs “out-group”.  They want to belong to the “in-group” which today is made up of people who self-identify as queer.  So they can’t be boring, straight, married people. [/quote]

[b]I think usually it’s one of the options others have identified (one or both are bi, one or both are non-binary, one or both are trans)[/b] but I do think this happens sometimes too. But rarely. You have to be in a community where being straight/cis is actually considered negative or “boring”. That’s incredibly rare. But I was once in a workplace/friend group where this was the attitude, and there were some straight folks in the group who started identifying as queer even though they didn’t change their orientation or gender. I don’t think it was totally disingenuous though. I honestly think being around people who think being straight/cis is less interesting can make people question the binary nature of their gender and sexuality. It makes them think “well yeah maybe if I’d explored it more before marriage I’d be less straight or less cis.”

But that’s very different than actually being gay or non-binary or trans. By that measure, most people are LGBTQ+, based on research like the Kinsey scale.[/quote]

This does happen and these people are absolutely queer.  Some queer people try to invalidate others, especially bisexual people in heterosexual relationships because these bisexual people aren't experiencing the same degree of suffering and loss of friends and family.  Unfortunately for cis bi people, from the other side, bi women in heterosexual relationships are often told they're "going through a phase" by cishet people and bi men are told they're just "closeted gay".  in many ways, bi people are invalidated from both directions and I think it's important to remember that they exist and that they're valid queer people regardless of the degree of suffering they've had to experience.  I wish no queer people had to give up their families to be themselves but that's the world we live in, even today.  For the lucky queer people that aren't bi that kept everyone in their lives after coming out, are they any less queer because they're gay or trans and aren't suffering as much as others?  Of course not.  [/quote]

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