Reply to Does anyone have a sibling they may one day be responsible for?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have a lot of mental illness in my family.

I highly recommend do what is easiest on you.

Commitment for mental illness no longer exists in the US other than 1-3 days short term.

Why do you want conservatorship?  If there is no money there and she does not want to be on meds I question even seeking conservatorship. Why subject yourself to the hassle?

Why can't she live alone in MIL's house?  You'd be surprised what the mentally ill can accomplish when they need to.
Have someone pay the taxes once a year, utilities monthly and get a grocery delivery service weekly. Can SIL walk to a grocery store?

Depending upon how long your Mom lives a lot of the decisions may fall to the daughter.  Daughter, when 18 might not go away to college or might not move with Dad.
It is hard to say. Certainly the daughter would have a strong say in any decisions.

I'd look into getting her on medicaid, disability and food stamps now.  This is probably much easier while Mom is alive.

What is MIL's housing situation?  It is probably easier to keep her in MIL's house.

It is not necessarily a bad thing for SIL to call the cops.  Many times the cops will get services linked up with SIL. It is not necessarily a bad thing if someone calls emergency and she ends up in emergency care.  A lot depends upon what state she is in but there is a fair amount of services out there.

It is not illegal to have mental illness. It is not illegal to choose not to treat your mental illness. It is not illegal to live an odd lifestyle.

This will most likely be a journey.  The daughter is the one who will need a lot of support.

[/quote]

Thank you for your response. You are right, I know it is not illegal to have a mental illness or refuse to medicate it, but man it is frustrating. I have seen times where she decides to medicate and she turns around and is stable and it gives us hope and then it all comes crashing down. It is exhausting.

I just feel so bad that MIL is burdened with all of this now. She lost her husband somewhat unexpectedly in September and SIL has gotten so much worse since then. MIL hasn't even had time to grieve and I think her heart issues are impacted by that. I worry she is depressed (from the way she talked, she basically just told me she is ready to die, she is only 64). But she told me it was because everything is just so hard now. I just wish we could provide more support. It is hard being away. [/quote]

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