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[quote=Anonymous]My oldest is 20 so still kind of a baby adult,  but here's what I've got:
1. Play the long game vs attempting to control the here and now.  You'll see lots of "no sex/drugs/alcohol on my watch, do what you want in college" talk on this board.  But you know what?  If you shut down those conversations about things that MOST kids try before college you lose a huge opportunity to help them navigate safely. This means you can't freak out about stuff.
2. Listen and affirm their thoughts and experiences rather than offering advice all the time. This is hard for me.  I want to fix things.  But I find that I'm most effective as a parent when I do more listening and less talking.
3. It's okay to let them know when they've been rude, hurt your feelings etc.  But don't pout about it.  Be a grownup. Model setting boundaries and self respect.  They will need these things down the line.
4. Support them findings things they love to do and feel good at.  I'm not talking about "find your passion" that's a ton of pressure. Or things that "look good for college." Just things they like to do, feel good about doing, connect them with other like-minded peers and adults, that help contribute to their sense of themself.[/quote]

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