Reply to Voices from future - what’s not on my radar now that should be?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Savor this time. They need you, and you are having an important influence on who they will become. Teach values, by your example. Spend quality time together (hiking, kayaking, picnics, making s’mores, building sandcastles and snowmen). Your window on them wanting to spend time with you will get smaller. They are blessings. Cherish then.[/quote]

This.

I wish I had been more patient and not gotten angrey with them for things that really didn't matter in the long run.  A stain on the carpet or having to remind them 'again' to put thier dishes in the dishwsher mean absoltely nothing.  Save the frustrations and lectures for issues that impact their health or safety or long term future.  All the rest can be corrected with gentle guidance.

I wish I had spent more time with them.  ALL the time they asked for.  Their first time leaving for college is brutal - you realize that their childhood is over and the VAST majority of concentrated time you get to spend with them for the rest of their life has already passed.  You may not want to play dress up AGAIN or play dolls instead of making dinner.  But do it.  When you see them leave for college it won't matter that they had frozen pizza yet again - it WILL matter that you were there for them and that you both have those memories.

I wish I would have encouraged them just a little more to get involved.  They were quite introverted so I didn't push them to get involved in aftershool activities or sports teams and I think it would have been good for their social dvelopment looking back.

Something I'm really glad I did?  Listened and found opportunities for conversation.  Light, heavy, feelings, emotions, weather, friends, nature, work, politics, everything.  From the time they were little I engaged them real, honest conversation about non-parent logistic need things and focused on understanding who they were as little, then big, humans.  During harder times (12-15 especially!) I think this base really helped us stay connected and me better understand them a bit more.  [/quote]

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