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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. Thank you all for such words of wisdom. It brought tears to my eyes. This is my first experience caring for a parent. My dad died suddenly from covid 18 months ago. 
My brother demanded a meeting with a social worker he hired.  The social worker completely sided with me. My brother left the meeting angry muttering under his breath. My mother wants my brother and I to make amends but it’s been impossible because he continues to question her cost of care. He’s obsessed with HER MONEY. He’s not married, has no children and is financially comfortable. 
I’ve talked to my mom over and over how she can afford the best care with the money my father and her saved. Sometimes she’ll say, “but I won’t have anything left to leave to my children”.  Ugh I want to pull my hair out!  My brother and I only grow further apart and I don’t see us ever making amends.  [/quote]

OP, you have posted about this situation before. Your brother seems determined to be a total dick and ruin his relationship with you and now he's working on your relationship with your mother.

I don't really know what to tell you. I am sorry this is happening. If your mother is still cognitively with it then I think nothing less than radical honesty. I'd just straight up tell her when been over this and she's hurting my feelings listening to my brother's lies, but you're happy for her to have access to her bank statements.

There's always the option of turning over the administration of her care to a professional and have them send quarterly statements.

I'd stop talking to my brother and tell[/quote]

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