Reply to If you come from a FUNCTIONAL family, why resent/dislike people from dysfunctional families?

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Reply to "If you come from a FUNCTIONAL family, why resent/dislike people from dysfunctional families?"

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[quote=Anonymous]There is a book of short stories by Douglas Coupland called Life After God. In it, in one of the stories, a man is at his mother’s house after a divorce. She tells him that no couple is in love forever, that when the love fades you have friendship and companionship. She also goes on to say that all people are flawed and finding your person to grow cold with is not about finding someone without flaws - it’s finding a person where you say “these are the flaws and problems I choose”.

Of course people from dysfunctional families deserve love and a chance to change and break patterns. But no one owes them the service of being patient with them while they work through their issues. That is to say, some people will be able to work with the dysfunction but others cannot. It is not a moral failing to not want to deal with someone else’s issues and growth process. It’s not a moral failing to not want to inherit toxic, dysfunctional in-laws and/or family drama. My family is not perfect, but they are very stable and drama free, almost boringly so. When I chose a spouse, I wanted someone who came from a similarly stable and supportive family. [/quote]

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