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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because my kids were not receptive to "pushing" and it backfired.  Maybe your kids will practice the instrument but, mine didn't when they didn't want to play anymore.  It was a huge waste of time and money.  So that's one reason.  Second I realized that my kids are not mini-mes and should have autonomy to chose what they want to do.  And I want a relationship with them when they are older.[/quote]

OP here. My kid was originally not receptive to pushing, but with appropriate punishments for not responding to my pushing (ie: taking away phone privileges, not letting them take Driver's Ed, not letting them meet up with friends on weekends, and the occasionally yelling and fighting), they became receptive. And, IME, so will 99% of kids (barring a learning disorder). Kids WILL have to be receptive if their social life is on the line. [/quote]

Okay. I mean, what do you think is going to happen when your kid moves out? None of that will continue and your relationship will be worse than it otherwise would have been. You think you’ve permanently installed a work ethic in your “naturally lazy” kid but that’s simply not how humans work.

We send our kids to private tutoring in certain subjects btw because we want them to be challenged and fully live up to their potential. But that’s different than what you’re describing which is basically just making your kids life worse and stressful for no reason, at the likely expense of your adult relationship. Here’s a cookie I guess!
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Yeah this is my thing. I did some random parenting reading and I have concluded that the only real long-lasting positive impact you can definitely have on your child is positive memories with their parent. You cannot increase an individual’s work ethic with your parenting. You can help them see what they are capable of when they work hard but that doesn’t mean they will do it later. I have actually found that the best way to get my kids to succeed is to get out of their way. [/quote]

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