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[quote=Anonymous]I have two DDs, and the younger one has been "adulting"--she's independent and when she goes to college, she'll not move back.  I can tell. Even if she did, she's industrious and helpful and it would be no big deal.

My older one who is in college now...she makes me nervous. When she lived with us, it was a constant battle to get her to do anything around the house.  She did have a job in the summer, but it was like afternoons one or two days a week. In college, she does clean her room, and do her laundry, etc.

However; whenever she comes home, she regresses and is super messy all over the house, and unmotivated.  I know it's because she's on vacation, but it's also her personality and my fear is I'll somehow end up with her at home forever.

I have heard that developmentally, in general, lots of adult kids regress when back in their childhood home.  They could be 40 years old, but suddenly, back at home, they are acting like they are 15.  It has to do with old patterns and habits--both with people and the objects (the house) that they used to interact with in a certain way.

This particular DD seems like a candidate for that. For the quality of both our lives, I do not want that to happen.  Our house is big and we won't need it much longer.  DH and I plan to find something smaller, and in a different area, like lots of empty nesters do...but part of the reason is I want to push the permanency of "adulting" a bit with my older DD.

Who, btw, I'm crazy about and love having her around, and love visiting her in college. I'll be happy to have her come visit us in our new digs...new place, new rules...a fresh start.[/quote]

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