Reply to OP from an earlier thread back with an update.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No wrong decision here. But if you are feel overburdened now it is not going to be any easier alone with sole custody. -Single mom with sole custody after physical abuse, and very tired.[/quote]

I feel differently. Sole custody is much easier than shared parenting with a substance abuser with mental illness. Life with my secretly substance abusing husband was very stressful - I was always questioning my sanity and my memory of things because he was actively lying to cover up behaviors that he knew would be deal breakers for me.

Once I left him, I had LESS to do, because I had been doing a lot for or because of him. Life was calmer, happier and more in control. I could rely on myself and select other people to be in my life whom I could rely on.

He also rejected treatment for the mental illness that was driving his substance use. He did not really get help until 6 months after I demanded he move out. Sad, but that was too late, and he never really stuck to it.

Only by my decision to end the relationship was I able to break the intergenerational cycle of substance abuse and mental illness and raise two kids who do not use drugs or alcohol and who know how to recognize and treat their own mental illness.

OP, it’s OK to have a boundary and enforce it.  It is better to have custody in a healthy, drug-free home 50% of the time. 
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