Reply to Why is loneliness in middle age a taboo?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm in my mid 50s, I have a lovely and supportive husband and a great job. Our house is mortgage-free. We're both in good health. We have savings and investments. We have a second home. We go on vacations, etc.

What is there to be sad about?

Well, I feel lonely and it's bringing me down.

I find it really hard to form close friendships with other women. It's not that I haven't tried, but clearly it's not working. I have a lot of friendly, casual acquaintances but no close friends. No one to call and have a chat with, or meet for coffee.
I don't know what to do about it.

It's bizarre as my job is very people oriented and involves face to face contact with clients all the time. I'm not timid.

When I mention to people that I feel lonely they look at me as if I'm an alien. It's not a topic that people feel comfortable with.

One thing that sets us apart from many other couples is the fact we are childfree, but I  don't know if this plays a role.

Any thoughts?

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You sound depressed.  See your doctor and ask about an anti-depressant.  I am not a pill pusher but I had early menopause and my doc prescribed a mild anti depressant and it worked wonders. I only took it for six months.
 [/quote]

I am the OP. One of my SILs has mentioned to DH that she thinks I'm depressed. I don't know if it's depression or not but I do feel down and tearful sometimes.

My work life and my private life couldn't be more different. I am good at my job and I think I am liked by my boss and my co-workers. I'm in charge of small projects and I get consistent excellent feedback from clients.

I guess I'm trying to explain that I have good interpersonal and organizational skills. I'm not a wallflower.

By contrast, in my private life I find it hard to connect with other women. I really do try, but the relationship usually remains fairly superficial and one-sided. A couple of the women I already know tend to turn down my invites to get together/have coffee, or they don't reply at all.
Not sure if age plays a role here but they are 6 to 10 years older than me, which means they're in the 60-64 age range.

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