Reply to Why is loneliness in middle age a taboo?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think this is quite common. I don’t think it’s a taboo topic, but I agree with others who’ve said it’s something discussed mostly among close friends. Movies, books, and TV make it look like most women have these incredibly close-knit groups of friends, so no one wants to admit otherwise.

So while I don’t think it’s taboo, I do think it’s uncomfortable for acquaintances to hear, and they may be worried they don’t have the emotional energy to meet your needs.

Is it just that you want people to meet for coffee or go to the day spa with? Or are you looking for a tell-everything-to best friend?[/quote]

Hi, it's OP here. To answer your questions, I would love to have a couple of female friends to meet for coffee, go to the day spa with, go to a museum or art gallery, maybe go hiking or cycling ... (doesn't have to be one and the same person).
And then maybe a 'friend' can evolve into a 'best' friend.

I admit that I miss having a best friend. I always had a best friend throughout my childhood and teenage years. At college I had a bunch of friends. Once I started working I had friendly co-workers, but no close friends or best friend.

I am friendly with 5 or 6 ladies in my local community and, although we get together for dinner with our husbands 2 or 3 times a year, we don't click enough to become close friends or do fun things together.[/quote]

I think a lot of us feel the same way - but it's...awkward? to say the least to start "dating" friends lol. I'd love to say "I'll be your friend!" but then I think insecurities get in the way and very valid concerns - like not only "will you like me?", are we "compatible" but also all the other things - "are you politically extreme", "are you classist", "are we the same type of people" get in the way.

Meeting people organically at first allows for some of those answers to come - shared interests/schools/kids can at least provide start up conversations whereas just meeting someone online like here is just wide open. And while some of us (me) would say "oh I'd welcome all and I'm inclusive - just be honest and kind and show up" - not everyone is like that. It's super hard at this stage of our lives and I'm not sure how to solve it. But know that you're not alone. Maybe a meetup group? Again - not sure what the fix is...sigh. But I'd like coffee and I like day spas :)[/quote]

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