Reply to Thanksgiving with siblings when parent estranged from one sibling

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, please get help. You are asking if an abuser should be included. You feel guilty not including an abuser. This is really concerning behavior. You need to work through some of this so you too can be a cycle breaker.[/quote]

This. In no scenario should you bring this up with sibling 1 or even consider why/ how your parents could be included. You see your parents and you do NOT need to spend e eye holiday with them (aren’t you with your in-laws sometime?). If you are still dealing with issues around guilt, then I highly recommend you work through those feelings with a therapist. And stop leaving your kids alone with them for “a few hours.”  Not worth it.

Just tell them, “We’re working on our holiday plans for later this year. We would love to see you sometime around Christmas. Let’s discuss what might work for both of our schedules.”

Your mom: “What about Thanksgiving?”

You: “We can’t do Thanksgiving and Christmas this year. We are going to Susie’s house. So what works better for you - coming here for Christmas Day or the weekend after?”[/quote]

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