Reply to MIL mad that we changed the door code without telling her

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[quote=Anonymous]You’re not overreacting OP. Some people have poor boundaries and instead of accepting responsibility they become defensive and self justified when called out.

My mil used to do this. She has a key for emergency purposes or just in case we are not home and she needs to come over. She clearly didn’t understand because we realized she was stopping by our house when we were away to poke around, bring in mail. Even when we explicitly said Do Not Do This, she would still do it. Finally the last time my DH said something like “mom, we asked you to please not come over without asking and us saying ok. Why do you keep doing this?” She was really irritated but seems to have gotten the message and hasn’t since. We have cameras so get alerts when people enter our house when we are away.

You are not wrong and it is better to set boundary now then later when it gets worse and worse. All she needed to do was ask from the get-go “would you mind if I ever need a quick break or bathroom if I stopped by your house when you are oot?” I have no idea why people don’t just do this. I think it has to do with control issues and feeling like certain people are “theirs” so they can do as they please.[/quote]

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