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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My MIL is obsessed with my son (and no, I'm not even complaining about how damaging this is to my daughter, both kids are college-aged). She has a long history of altering her plans so that she just "happens" to be in the area when she thinks she can see him, figuring we won't be able to say "no". She has no respect for boundaries. In the past she would announce she was going to visit for the weekend, and for the fourth weekend in a row, where my husband explained that it just wouldn't work, she had my father-in-law make up some story. Now they were going to be driving through on Monday, but she found out that my son is coming in Saturday night (9 p.m.), is going out with friends, and plans on hanging out with us on Sunday for brunch. He has a train ride to his summer internship that leaves at 2:30 p.m. My MIL has announced that she just happens to have changed her plans and will be driving by on Sunday. I don't want them to stop by for brunch. I feel like I get precious little time with him, and haven't seen him for months (whereas they have already swooped in to his college town to visit recently). It just isn't the same dynamic hosting them - [b]I always get pushed to the background. [/b]My husband wants to be the nice guy, and just allow them to show up. I'm on the fence - suck it up, or put my foot down. Any advice?[/quote]

So stop getting pushed to the background. Doing so will also help your DS see that it is ok to set boundaries. The easiest way is to do the opposite of what you normally do. If you run around hosting, don't. Put something out and expect people to serve themselves. You sit down hang out with your DS and if they ask for something either pretend you don't hear them or say oh there is plenty in the kitchen - help yourself! And quickly start a conversation. Your DH can fetch things for them. It's really easy to do the ignore, they ask, you smile a little at them and then turn to your kid and start talking. If someone says oh they asked you for so and so, you slightly turn and say oh sorry I was lost in though, just go ahead and help yourself. The first couple of times I got teased for being spacey and just went along with it and said ok guess so! but after a few times, it wore thin and they realized I didn't care. [/quote]

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