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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is this weird? My family are wine drinkers. If we all hang out together, usually there is beer or wine. We had a Memorial Day barbecue weekend last night and she brought a thermos of her own premixed gin and tonic. She says wine and beer give her a headache. Wouldn't you just not drink in this case, instead of BYO to a family gathering where it isn't offered?? I wonder about saying something to my brother just to check in. Like why would you travel with your own booze thermos??![/quote]

Your post seems to mix some concern that she's, what, trending toward a drinking problem? with a dollop of judgement at her daring to bring her own drink to an event where she already knows there won't be any alcoholic beverages she can drink without feeling bad. Kind of like you're not quite sure which to think about more -- you find her rude/weird/whatever for not just doing without, or you are genuinely concerned she's going to be an alcoholic.

I [i]think[/i] you're saying, "Is the fact she brought her own alcohol a sign that she can't do without alcohol at all?" Is that it? The answer is no, it's not necessarily a sign of problem drinking, [i]unless[/i] this is part of some larger pattern or you have other reasons to be concerned. She knows the family never serves her preferred alcohol, and since your preferred drinks give her headaches, she brought her own. And she was open about it; she didn't pretend it was a thermos of something non-alcoholic, right? I'm a nondrinker and not super comfortable around drinking but even I would not find this a red flag unless there were other signs. If you think there are other signs of a larger drinking problem, talk to her husband about it. Done. [/quote]

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