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[quote=Anonymous][b][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why don't people say please or thank you?  I just gave away many very nice, high interest items in this group and I didn't get a single please or thank you.  People said "interested" (then they were not in the pms), "I'll take it!"or, "next" but not a single please or even request as to why they should receive the item. After people picked up the items they didn't say thank you either. I'm relatively new to these groups so is that normal? [/quote]

There's no enforcement and the gifter can choose based on other criteria, but proper etiquette in my BNG is to select the recipient by random drawing of interested recipients after letting the post simmer for a while, not by level of detail in the response to the offer.  Begging or listing out why you deserve it more than others is somewhere between unnecessary and bad form.  What you're asking for (explanation as to why they should receive the item) disadvantages people who don't speak English as a first language, for example.  [/quote]

While I appreciate that may be the etiquette in your group, it really does go against the national model. You are supposed to talk to each other like friends and that often comes with an explanation about why the item is needed/useful.  So people moving into the area from other groups don't see it as begging, they see it as following the model as set out by the founders (and probably enforced in their former group).

I've given away some pretty nice/sentimental things on buy nothing and I wanted to know they were really needed/wanted.  It also helps avoid the people who intend to resell the item.[/quote]

[b]I think there's just a broader diversity of languages spoken in my tri-neighborhood BNG, and perhaps less presumption of English fluency. [/b] I don't care about resellers, I care about not excluding people who cannot write persuasively in English.  If someone in my neighborhood has a side hustle reselling backyard furniture they get for free and clean up, then good for them and good for the economy.

This reminds me of a post in Expectant Mothers about the lady who wanted to give away bunch of "upscale" baby items but only to someone who would come over and ooh and ahh appreciatively over each item in front of the giver, in her driveway, during the pandemic.  Buy Nothing is about making neighborhood connections and keeping things out of landfills, not about proving you're the one who deserves the spatula.[/quote]

I find that non-english speakers are the most polite and have manners.  [/quote]

And there's nothing impolite about responding "Interested" to a post in a Buy Nothing Group. [i] Expecting someone to convince you to pick them is not about politeness, that is the whole point I'm making.  OP doesn't just want please and thank you.  She wants them to type out a "request as to why they should receive the item".  [/i]I'm pointing out that she may not realize that she's judging people as rude for not doing something that they may not be able to do.

It's like an OP saying recipients should have to climb 17 steps to get a donation off their porch, and then a bunch of posters getting mad at someone for pointing out wheelchairs exist.  [/quote]

OP back and I can see how badly that came out.  I don't expect to be convinced, I just thought there would be a short sentence like "I could use this for my dog." or "This would be great for my car." but if that is too much to ask then I understand.  [/quote]

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