Anonymous wrote:I hate when people tell me why they want it. Not my business. I don’t expect a please when I am literally offering it. They are doing me a favor by taking it, after all.

They have all said thank you when they pick it up if we cross paths, though.

Anonymous wrote:This post just goes to show how important it is for a group's moderators to set and enforce norms.

My group specifically bans PMing without permission. A poster/giver can decide how they want to give away their item (random selection, heart-string tugging, or first-come/first serve). I typically go with first-come/first-served and "interested" and "next" are all I need to know.

Sometimes someone will give away something sentimental and will want to know what people intend to do with the item. Or sometimes it will be a hot item (like an iPhone) and people will say they're letting the post simmer and will randomly select a recipient.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I seek for cheap rather than buy nothing, I feel people are more serious that way. And I always give priority to who can pick up very soon (and if multiple can, I just go in order of response) and state that in my post.

I do this too. I find that people are more serious about picking up an item when they feel like they are getting a deal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't people say please or thank you? I just gave away many very nice, high interest items in this group and I didn't get a single please or thank you. People said "interested" (then they were not in the pms), "I'll take it!"or, "next" but not a single please or even request as to why they should receive the item. After people picked up the items they didn't say thank you either. I'm relatively new to these groups so is that normal?

There's no enforcement and the gifter can choose based on other criteria, but proper etiquette in my BNG is to select the recipient by random drawing of interested recipients after letting the post simmer for a while, not by level of detail in the response to the offer. Begging or listing out why you deserve it more than others is somewhere between unnecessary and bad form. What you're asking for (explanation as to why they should receive the item) disadvantages people who don't speak English as a first language, for example.

While I appreciate that may be the etiquette in your group, it really does go against the national model. You are supposed to talk to each other like friends and that often comes with an explanation about why the item is needed/useful. So people moving into the area from other groups don't see it as begging, they see it as following the model as set out by the founders (and probably enforced in their former group).

I've given away some pretty nice/sentimental things on buy nothing and I wanted to know they were really needed/wanted. It also helps avoid the people who intend to resell the item.

I think there's just a broader diversity of languages spoken in my tri-neighborhood BNG, and perhaps less presumption of English fluency. I don't care about resellers, I care about not excluding people who cannot write persuasively in English. If someone in my neighborhood has a side hustle reselling backyard furniture they get for free and clean up, then good for them and good for the economy.

This reminds me of a post in Expectant Mothers about the lady who wanted to give away bunch of "upscale" baby items but only to someone who would come over and ooh and ahh appreciatively over each item in front of the giver, in her driveway, during the pandemic. Buy Nothing is about making neighborhood connections and keeping things out of landfills, not about proving you're the one who deserves the spatula.

Anonymous wrote:Why don't people say please or thank you? I just gave away many very nice, high interest items in this group and I didn't get a single please or thank you. People said "interested" (then they were not in the pms), "I'll take it!"or, "next" but not a single please or even request as to why they should receive the item. After people picked up the items they didn't say thank you either. I'm relatively new to these groups so is that normal?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't people say please or thank you? I just gave away many very nice, high interest items in this group and I didn't get a single please or thank you. People said "interested" (then they were not in the pms), "I'll take it!"or, "next" but not a single please or even request as to why they should receive the item. After people picked up the items they didn't say thank you either. I'm relatively new to these groups so is that normal?

There's no enforcement and the gifter can choose based on other criteria, but proper etiquette in my BNG is to select the recipient by random drawing of interested recipients after letting the post simmer for a while, not by level of detail in the response to the offer. Begging or listing out why you deserve it more than others is somewhere between unnecessary and bad form. What you're asking for (explanation as to why they should receive the item) disadvantages people who don't speak English as a first language, for example.

While I appreciate that may be the etiquette in your group, it really does go against the national model. You are supposed to talk to each other like friends and that often comes with an explanation about why the item is needed/useful. So people moving into the area from other groups don't see it as begging, they see it as following the model as set out by the founders (and probably enforced in their former group).

I've given away some pretty nice/sentimental things on buy nothing and I wanted to know they were really needed/wanted. It also helps avoid the people who intend to resell the item.

[b]I think there's just a broader diversity of languages spoken in my tri-neighborhood BNG, and perhaps less presumption of English fluency. I don't care about resellers, I care about not excluding people who cannot write persuasively in English. If someone in my neighborhood has a side hustle reselling backyard furniture they get for free and clean up, then good for them and good for the economy.

This reminds me of a post in Expectant Mothers about the lady who wanted to give away bunch of "upscale" baby items but only to someone who would come over and ooh and ahh appreciatively over each item in front of the giver, in her driveway, during the pandemic. Buy Nothing is about making neighborhood connections and keeping things out of landfills, not about proving you're the one who deserves the spatula.

I find that non-english speakers are the most polite and have manners.

And there's nothing impolite about responding "Interested" to a post in a Buy Nothing Group. Expecting someone to convince you to pick them is not about politeness, that is the whole point I'm making. OP doesn't just want please and thank you. She wants them to type out a "request as to why they should receive the item". I'm pointing out that she may not realize that she's judging people as rude for not doing something that they may not be able to do.

It's like an OP saying recipients should have to climb 17 steps to get a donation off their porch, and then a bunch of posters getting mad at someone for pointing out wheelchairs exist.

Anonymous wrote:I seek for cheap rather than buy nothing, I feel people are more serious that way. And I always give priority to who can pick up very soon (and if multiple can, I just go in order of response) and state that in my post.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't people say please or thank you? I just gave away many very nice, high interest items in this group and I didn't get a single please or thank you. People said "interested" (then they were not in the pms), "I'll take it!"or, "next" but not a single please or even request as to why they should receive the item. After people picked up the items they didn't say thank you either. I'm relatively new to these groups so is that normal?

There's no enforcement and the gifter can choose based on other criteria, but proper etiquette in my BNG is to select the recipient by random drawing of interested recipients after letting the post simmer for a while, not by level of detail in the response to the offer. Begging or listing out why you deserve it more than others is somewhere between unnecessary and bad form. What you're asking for (explanation as to why they should receive the item) disadvantages people who don't speak English as a first language, for example.

As to thank you after - about 75% of my recipients will respond to me privately on a DM saying "got it, thanks!" after they get whatever it is off my porch. Not necessary, and more of a "transaction concluded" than heartfelt gratitude. Which is fine. I have gotten things home and then realized that the kids floor puzzle is missing two pieces or something, so I'm not gushing thank you at pickup either. Maybe 1% of all posts will get a separate "gratitude post" where the recipient shows the item in use at their house and explains why it's awesome. Extreme outlier.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't people say please or thank you? I just gave away many very nice, high interest items in this group and I didn't get a single please or thank you. People said "interested" (then they were not in the pms), "I'll take it!"or, "next" but not a single please or even request as to why they should receive the item. After people picked up the items they didn't say thank you either. I'm relatively new to these groups so is that normal?

There's no enforcement and the gifter can choose based on other criteria, but proper etiquette in my BNG is to select the recipient by random drawing of interested recipients after letting the post simmer for a while, not by level of detail in the response to the offer. Begging or listing out why you deserve it more than others is somewhere between unnecessary and bad form. What you're asking for (explanation as to why they should receive the item) disadvantages people who don't speak English as a first language, for example.

While I appreciate that may be the etiquette in your group, it really does go against the national model. You are supposed to talk to each other like friends and that often comes with an explanation about why the item is needed/useful. So people moving into the area from other groups don't see it as begging, they see it as following the model as set out by the founders (and probably enforced in their former group).

I've given away some pretty nice/sentimental things on buy nothing and I wanted to know they were really needed/wanted. It also helps avoid the people who intend to resell the item.

I think there's just a broader diversity of languages spoken in my tri-neighborhood BNG, and perhaps less presumption of English fluency. I don't care about resellers, I care about not excluding people who cannot write persuasively in English. If someone in my neighborhood has a side hustle reselling backyard furniture they get for free and clean up, then good for them and good for the economy.

This reminds me of a post in Expectant Mothers about the lady who wanted to give away bunch of "upscale" baby items but only to someone who would come over and ooh and ahh appreciatively over each item in front of the giver, in her driveway, during the pandemic. Buy Nothing is about making neighborhood connections and keeping things out of landfills, not about proving you're the one who deserves the spatula.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't people say please or thank you? I just gave away many very nice, high interest items in this group and I didn't get a single please or thank you. People said "interested" (then they were not in the pms), "I'll take it!"or, "next" but not a single please or even request as to why they should receive the item. After people picked up the items they didn't say thank you either. I'm relatively new to these groups so is that normal?

There's no enforcement and the gifter can choose based on other criteria, but proper etiquette in my BNG is to select the recipient by random drawing of interested recipients after letting the post simmer for a while, not by level of detail in the response to the offer. Begging or listing out why you deserve it more than others is somewhere between unnecessary and bad form. What you're asking for (explanation as to why they should receive the item) disadvantages people who don't speak English as a first language, for example.

While I appreciate that may be the etiquette in your group, it really does go against the national model. You are supposed to talk to each other like friends and that often comes with an explanation about why the item is needed/useful. So people moving into the area from other groups don't see it as begging, they see it as following the model as set out by the founders (and probably enforced in their former group).

I've given away some pretty nice/sentimental things on buy nothing and I wanted to know they were really needed/wanted. It also helps avoid the people who intend to resell the item.

I think there's just a broader diversity of languages spoken in my tri-neighborhood BNG, and perhaps less presumption of English fluency. I don't care about resellers, I care about not excluding people who cannot write persuasively in English. If someone in my neighborhood has a side hustle reselling backyard furniture they get for free and clean up, then good for them and good for the economy.

This reminds me of a post in Expectant Mothers about the lady who wanted to give away bunch of "upscale" baby items but only to someone who would come over and ooh and ahh appreciatively over each item in front of the giver, in her driveway, during the pandemic. Buy Nothing is about making neighborhood connections and keeping things out of landfills, not about proving you're the one who deserves the spatula.

I find that non-english speakers are the most polite and have manners.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't people say please or thank you? I just gave away many very nice, high interest items in this group and I didn't get a single please or thank you. People said "interested" (then they were not in the pms), "I'll take it!"or, "next" but not a single please or even request as to why they should receive the item. After people picked up the items they didn't say thank you either. I'm relatively new to these groups so is that normal?

There's no enforcement and the gifter can choose based on other criteria, but proper etiquette in my BNG is to select the recipient by random drawing of interested recipients after letting the post simmer for a while, not by level of detail in the response to the offer. Begging or listing out why you deserve it more than others is somewhere between unnecessary and bad form. What you're asking for (explanation as to why they should receive the item) disadvantages people who don't speak English as a first language, for example.

While I appreciate that may be the etiquette in your group, it really does go against the national model. You are supposed to talk to each other like friends and that often comes with an explanation about why the item is needed/useful. So people moving into the area from other groups don't see it as begging, they see it as following the model as set out by the founders (and probably enforced in their former group).

I've given away some pretty nice/sentimental things on buy nothing and I wanted to know they were really needed/wanted. It also helps avoid the people who intend to resell the item.

I think there's just a broader diversity of languages spoken in my tri-neighborhood BNG, and perhaps less presumption of English fluency. I don't care about resellers, I care about not excluding people who cannot write persuasively in English. If someone in my neighborhood has a side hustle reselling backyard furniture they get for free and clean up, then good for them and good for the economy.

This reminds me of a post in Expectant Mothers about the lady who wanted to give away bunch of "upscale" baby items but only to someone who would come over and ooh and ahh appreciatively over each item in front of the giver, in her driveway, during the pandemic. Buy Nothing is about making neighborhood connections and keeping things out of landfills, not about proving you're the one who deserves the spatula.

Anonymous wrote:That's the culture of your specific group. Maybe check in with your mods about the actual guidelines.

In my group it's specifically stated that there's not "first" or "next" or whatever. People post like they're talking to their friends - "that would be great for my garage!" There's no "ISO" - it's "hey does anyone have a xxx to give away?" Always thank yous. Occasional gratitude posts. Almost always "got it" in a pm to close the deal after pick up. My group is very friendly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't people say please or thank you? I just gave away many very nice, high interest items in this group and I didn't get a single please or thank you. People said "interested" (then they were not in the pms), "I'll take it!"or, "next" but not a single please or even request as to why they should receive the item. After people picked up the items they didn't say thank you either. I'm relatively new to these groups so is that normal?

There's no enforcement and the gifter can choose based on other criteria, but proper etiquette in my BNG is to select the recipient by random drawing of interested recipients after letting the post simmer for a while, not by level of detail in the response to the offer. Begging or listing out why you deserve it more than others is somewhere between unnecessary and bad form. What you're asking for (explanation as to why they should receive the item) disadvantages people who don't speak English as a first language, for example.

While I appreciate that may be the etiquette in your group, it really does go against the national model. You are supposed to talk to each other like friends and that often comes with an explanation about why the item is needed/useful. So people moving into the area from other groups don't see it as begging, they see it as following the model as set out by the founders (and probably enforced in their former group).

I've given away some pretty nice/sentimental things on buy nothing and I wanted to know they were really needed/wanted. It also helps avoid the people who intend to resell the item.