Reply to Buy Nothing Groups Vent

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why don't people say please or thank you?  I just gave away many very nice, high interest items in this group and I didn't get a single please or thank you.  People said "interested" (then they were not in the pms), "I'll take it!"or, "next" but not a single please or even request as to why they should receive the item. After people picked up the items they didn't say thank you either. I'm relatively new to these groups so is that normal? [/quote]

There's no enforcement and the gifter can choose based on other criteria, but proper etiquette in my BNG is to select the recipient by random drawing of interested recipients after letting the post simmer for a while, not by level of detail in the response to the offer.  Begging or listing out why you deserve it more than others is somewhere between unnecessary and bad form.  What you're asking for (explanation as to why they should receive the item) disadvantages people who don't speak English as a first language, for example.  [/quote]

While I appreciate that may be the etiquette in your group, it really does go against the national model. You are supposed to talk to each other like friends and that often comes with an explanation about why the item is needed/useful.  So people moving into the area from other groups don't see it as begging, they see it as following the model as set out by the founders (and probably enforced in their former group).

I've given away some pretty nice/sentimental things on buy nothing and I wanted to know they were really needed/wanted.  It also helps avoid the people who intend to resell the item.[/quote]

I think there's just a broader diversity of languages spoken in my tri-neighborhood BNG, and perhaps less presumption of English fluency.  I don't care about resellers, I care about not excluding people who cannot write persuasively in English.  If someone in my neighborhood has a side hustle reselling backyard furniture they get for free and clean up, then good for them and good for the economy.

This reminds me of a post in Expectant Mothers about the lady who wanted to give away bunch of "upscale" baby items but only to someone who would come over and ooh and ahh appreciatively over each item in front of the giver, in her driveway, during the pandemic.  Buy Nothing is about making neighborhood connections and keeping things out of landfills, not about proving you're the one who deserves the spatula.[/quote]

OP and that's not what I mean by showing basic manners.  A simple, "interested, please" or "I picked it up, thanks!". I like the PPs group when they give a simple one liner, but I guess that's just me and how I approach the group. To me I give items of value that I think are too nice for the thrift shop so my from my POV basic manners would be welcome.  As I said, I'm newish to the group so I suppose I am surprised at how it works.  I'll just go with the flow as it was just a vent. [/quote]

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