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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My STBXH separated six months ago. We share custody 50/50 of our son.

About 3 months ago I reconnected with an old flame that I had significant feelings for but he was never really more than a FWB. I saw him two months ago for a "sleepover" and he’s been hot/cold ever since. Honestly the flame for him never really went out.

Long story short, I’m dealing with just such crippling sadness since dealing with the rejection of two men. I lost 20lbs after my separation and felt better physically than I have in a long time. Now everything is just kind of surfacing - losing my marriage and also realizing I don’t mean anything to someone I hoped would even give me the time of day. He just left me on read when I reached out to him. I deleted his number and have decided to just forget about him. But it doesn’t get rid of the feelings I wish would go away.

I don’t know where to go from here? Therapy? Meds? Thank god my ex has our kid today because I just feel like an idiot. [/quote]

OP, sorry you are going through this. Let’s deconstruct what happened with the second guy so that it does not happen when you are ready to start dating again.

Did you reach out to him, or him to you?

How did you approach him; what did you say?

What did he say in return?

Were you guys just FWB before? What were you expecting this time around?

Was there anything in his behavior that made you think, realistically, he wanted more than FWB?

Have you ever had a situation where someone was a nice person but they were into you more than you were into them?  It happens.

Are you aware that some people in the world are givers, some are takers, and some are straight up users?  Which type are you?  Which type is that guy?  Which type do you want to date?  Which type do you not want to have in your life?

Do you agree you deserve to have only good people in your life?

Do you understand that there is an abundance of good people in the world, not a scarcity, and that you don’t need to settle for bad when you can hold out for good?

Work through the above and you may find some peace with what happened with the second guy.  Who knows or cares why he did what he did. You don’t have time for nonsense. Bye to him.  You are on a mission to have good things and good people in your life.

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