Reply to Help me guide DH through this. Is it manipulation?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Take the gift and [b]spend it on something non returnable.[/b] When she later tries to hold it over his head he can just ignore. Gifts with strings only work if you hold onto the strings.

For the other women, do not let the flock of hen peckers back in. [/quote]

OP said the gift is something on which he has to give input, indicating it's not a straight-out cash gift. So he can't necessarily take it and spend it as he pleases. OP, he needs to decline firmly -- Mom, I want to be clear, I am saying no to this gift, but I'd like to go to X with you.

He should have an alternative gift he can tell her to get him. Tell her, not ask her.

He also should be prepared for her to do something totally manipulative like simply get him this very expensive gift without any further consultation and even if he has said no. She may just go ahead and get it or something else hugely expensive and drop her pretense of consulting him. OP, he needs to be ready if that happens: Will he tell her, Mom, I did tell you no to the gift clearly, and I can't accept it? Can he do that or will he cave to keep the peace?[/quote]

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