Reply to Husband never admits he's wrong

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Fyi for those of you in the "I never make my kids apologize because it's not authentic/genuine" camp--this is the adult you will get. You are forewarned.[/quote]

BS. Helping kids see and acknowledge kids the impact of their actions is what a parent should do, and that is far from “forcing them to apologize.” Telling your kids “say sorry” is not teaching kids anything important. It doesn’t teach them to be empathic, it doesn’t teach them that intent doesn’t equal impact, etc. It teaches them that the most important thing is to keep the peace. [/quote]

I agree that it's important to teach them empathy, you are absolutely right. But if a child doesn't ever have to overcome the discomfort of saying they are sorry then they will never overcome that discomfort, even if they are dead wrong and they know it. [/quote]

NP, but you do realize that people who don't force their kids to apologize aren't taking that stance because they don't think they should apologize, right? I never forced my kid. She learned it because we modeled it for her. We apologize. Like people. Sometimes she didn't apologize when she was little, but I found she eventually did, most of the time, and it was genuine. At 9, she almost always does when I think it would be warranted. [/quote]

And how do others perceive your daughter and her ability to apologize?

I do think it's pointless standing there shouting at your kid to  apologize but I don't think just modeling it is enough. [/quote]

This last line is my point. I'm not standing there yelling and increasing punishments until they apologize, but I strongly and firmly encourage it to happen; sometimes waiting through the discomfort until they do. My kids are teens now and have zero "trauma"
From this system and are actually great at apologizing when they know they did something wrong, but they also stand their ground if they feel like they didn't. We model it,  but for many people, that's not enough. A lot of people in the world (like op's dh) who always feel like the victim and never the guilty one.[/quote]

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