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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I felt relief when my dad died. He was a good, but broken man who had a lot of trauma in his childhood that festered, and came out in unhealthy ways involving us "kids."

I don't believe he knew any better, and there were definitely glimpses of love and care among the rage. Nevertheless, dealing with him was challenging. I felt shock--but relief when he died suddenly, and before he had a chance to deteriorate physically and mentally.

I feel no guilt about my feelings of relief.[/quote]
Exact same situation here, with addiction thrown into the mix. He was only 60 when he died, and I was so relieved that my mom wouldn’t be tied to him for the rest of her life, that we could be free to enjoy family holidays for the first time in ages, and that he would never kill anyone driving drunk. I often feel sad about all his lost potential. He was brilliant and kind in spurts, and he truly loved us to the best of his limited ability.  I found that after he died I was able for the first time in years to focus on the good things about him and the good times we had as a family.

My mom’s remaining years were so happy and healthy compared to all the years of their marriage. You don’t really talk about where your dad was in all this, but I hope there is a possibility you could have a stronger relationship with him once he is no longer dealing with her demons.  Good luck, OP. [/quote]

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