Reply to If you as an adult have a good relationship with your mom

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mother was always very involved in my life growing up- always volunteering with my various activities - but she was not very emotionally available. She was/is an empathetic listener, but never had any advice to offer or opinions to share. I do an understand letting children make their own mistakes, but this was more emotional underdevelopment than an intentional attempt at building resilience in her kids.

She will learn so much from watching you and how you move through life. Here are a few things I am working hard to exemplify for my DD (and DSs, too) that I didn’t learn from my own mom: Model loving, emotionally mature relationships and strong communication. Show her how to use her voice to share her opinions and feelings, and remind her that her voice is valued. Be open with your emotions, positive and negative, so she can learn how to express and regulate her own. [/quote]

As someone is trying to force fewer opinions on my teens (and still constantly listen to my parents' opinions on my life in my 40s),  I am fascinated by your comment and don't know how to incorporate it into being more respectful to my DDs.[/quote]

It can be helpful to do an audit of how many "shoulds" show up in our lives, even the ones that are so habitual we don't even really notice them. I was surprised to find a whole bunch that felt extremely true but then on examination not so much.[/quote]

Can you give me an example of what you mean?[/quote]

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