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[quote=Anonymous]Sorry OP for the ignorant posters on this thread.

My family has BTDT. First time, my kids dad went to a country where we could not have gone anyway due to safety. There was also a big time difference that made it harder.
We divorced not long after that for unrelated reasons. 
Their dad is in another country now and could have taken the kids there but we decided it would be better for them to remain here with me. There is a lot to be said for continuity and stability of home, friends, and school. Even though my kids’ dad is now in a similar time zone, he still often does not call them more than once a week. And this is after him threatening to sue for full custody (he does not want to pay child support) so it’s hard for me to believe someone who only calls them once a week (and this is usually after I ask him to) really has or wants to make time for them. 
I wouldn’t just assume your spouse is cheating, but maybe take a hard look at how you really feel about this arrangement.
In my case, examining things made me realize my home had much more peace while he was away. As hard as it is to be 100% responsible for all of the child care and logistics, it is much easier doing that than having another adult in or out of the house who is not fully engaged, or worse.  [/quote]

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